If you’ve been following my blog for a while now, you’ll remember a post I wrote back in December 2014 titled ‘My Thoughts on Love’ (To read that post first, click here.)
In December 2016, I’m going to write a volume two.
In volume one I wrote about how I’m a hopeless romantic, and I don’t ‘need’ anyone to complete my life and follow my dreams. A part of me seems scared and terrified of falling in love, because it’s immensely painful to fall out of it. I’m a couple of years older, and maybe a little less fearful now.
People think love is this feeling we’re all supposed to be feeling. They take love and project it as something so vast, that it leaves us wondering if something that grand will ever happen to us. The truth is, the world has romanticized love. They’ve made it seem unattainable, life-controlling and all-consuming, when it’s not.
Love is simple.
I believe you can’t chase love or go looking for it. Love, will come. And when it does, you’ll know. The duration of your encounter with that stranger won’t matter. Where the stranger is from, what they’re doing won’t matter. What your friends and family think won’t matter. Nothing will matter. Only they will matter.
I will admit that I went around searching for love on many occasions and for many years and always returned empty handed and broken hearted. Sometimes, it would leave me unscathed and the other, torn apart. But none of that ever made me believe in love less, none of that made me give up on the hope that maybe one day I will find that missing puzzle piece.
Love will come, give it time. It won’t fall from the sky (or maybe it will?) or show up with flowers at your doorstep. Love will come if you let your heart be open, if you let yourself be accepting. Let yourself believe in what the universe is trying to say, and trust your guts when it whispers in your ear to ‘forget everything and go after what makes you happy.’
And when love does come, everything will fall into place. You’ll never be able to imagine a life without love, and won’t understand how you survived all these years alone. When this happens, and I’m serious, you will be afraid. You’ll be afraid of taking this leap and falling into a hole in which you can’t see the bottom. You’ll be afraid that when love ends, you’ll never be able to climb out. But there’s also this beautiful possibility that maybe this time, you’ll have gotten lucky, and love will stay. After all those torturous years, it’s finally here to stay. If it wants to stay, let it. Jump.
And if love stays, it will get hard, because making love last is never easy. Sometimes you will argue, yell out words you shouldn’t, and curse. You’ll scream and cry and shout, but don’t you ever let yourself leave. Give it time, and remind yourself just why you fell in love in the first place. It’s always easier to leave, but it’s not always the right answer.
And finally, I still support my claim: “You don’t need someone to guide you along the way and to hold your hand through the journey. You don’t need someone else to make you feel good about yourself. Fight for what you want, and do it alone if you goddamn have to.”
For when love comes, it won’t stop you from fighting for what you want, and will never come in the way of your dreams. Love will never stop you from chasing after your goals, and love won’t ever let you believe that you’re not worth it. In fact, love will stand by you for whatever choice you make, and never try and influence you. Love will wipe your tears off when you fall, and will convince you that you can fly again. Love will be cheering the loudest when you reach the top. Love will do all this, because you will do the same.
My statement still stands.
I am a hopeless romantic.
I love love.