// On Being Undermined

As an artist, I believe the worst thing that you can do to an artist is undermine what they create. In a lot of ways, everything a painter or a poet creates, and puts out for the world to see, is personal. To the shade of blue used to paint the curtains to the color of the sunset in the quatrain has some messed-up explanation. Every detail screams truths which are far from what the piece is even about.

Personally, the constant feeling of my writing never being ‘good enough’ engulfs me. There’s not a day which goes by in which I don’t feel the inexplicable urge to delete my blog, and pretend that it never existed in the first place. Every poem I write is so brutally truthful, that posting it feels like exposing my deepest, darkest secrets for the world to see. Yes, most of the time the pain is so deeply cloaked under the shadow of tiny details, that you probably can’t make sense of it, but that doesn’t make the fear go away.

Every morning, I’d look at the things I wrote the night before, and (for lack of a better word) feel stupid. There are honestly very few things I’ve written that I can say I’m actually proud of, and believe them to be something of value. The rest? The rest just seem like useless inklings, something anyone and everyone can write, and pretty much worthless.

You can ask my roommates the amount of times I’d pace around the room, fingers hovering over the ‘publish post’ button and the sheer number of times I’d close the tab, then reopen a minute later. So whenever someone says anything even remotely undermining about it, trust me, I’ve already said the same things to myself a million times. Probably even worse. Most of the published posts on here have been in my drafts for weeks before I gathered the courage to finally put them up.

Yes, art is subjective. Which is what makes it even more difficult to believe in yourself, because there’ll always be someone who’ll think of your art as junk. There’s no avoiding that. I’m not uptight, I’m always up for some constructive criticism. But there’s a very, very thin line between criticism and mockery. Criticism can very easily turn into insult, and nothing can feel worse.

So my point here is simple: you’re not going to like every single piece of writing I put out, but that doesn’t make it bad. It doesn’t give you the right to be cruel about it. I’m always up for helpful tips, but think twice before sending a message, as every poem is like my baby, and you have to regard it as such, too.

Here’s to spreading a bit more positivity, eh?

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One thought on “// On Being Undermined

  1. Reblogged this on TheGoatStuff and commented:
    Here’s to what,each writer,painter,musician undergoes before making their work public.
    We all have learnt to criticise our own work and have no further capacity left to accept criticism from other. There is a thin line between suggestions and critic views and people rarely do learn how not to step over it.

    Time for a positivemindset!

    Like

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