( I wrote a happy post? That’s rare. )
Sometimes I feel that re-living memories is better than living in the present. Memories are like this thin thread of an incident that you hold on to. A thin thread of a tiny happy memory which keeps you sane. Because, at the end of it all, your memories are what makes you, or breaks you.
Take out a moment from your busy, hectic, stressful life and think. Think about a happy memory. Close your eyes, breathe in, and just re- live that moment. That feeling of bittersweet nostalgia? That slow little smile that erupts on your face way before you can stop it? That one second in which you feel as if you’re almost in that same place again, re- living that same exact feeling. These memories, for however small a moment they lasted, are very powerful.
You’re sitting on the edge of a roof with three of your closest friends. The view is beautiful. The wind is hitting your face, making your hair fly in all those crazy directions. Someone cracks a lame joke. You all laugh. The joke isn’t even funny but when you look at your friends, your people, they all are laughing. They all are happy. So, you feel happy. You laugh. You all cling to each other, holding your stomachs and it seems as if the entire world has slowed down. You don’t even remember the joke anymore. You don’t even care. You don’t know why you’re laughing or why you all are even here in the first place. All you know is that you’re happy.
At that one moment, you feel as if this is the highest moment of your life. You’ve never experienced something that made you happier. You’ll never experience anything that can make you happier. Your legs dangle from the rooftop, your hair whips around and you constantly try to push it back behind your ears. Your face is frozen in a laugh that is far from attractive. You’re laughing so hard you look as if you’re choking. Your stomach hurts so much you think it won’t ever be like it was before. Your eyes begin to water. Your head spins. You feel this impeccable rush. You’re on the top of the world and you’re with your people, all of whom are happy. Does anything else matter?
No one cares about the fact that you have an important physics test in the next hour, something none of you bothered studying for. No one cares about that one friend’s father, who is in the army and hasn’t contacted the family for an unnatural amount of time. No one cares about that loan, something which you’d been carrying around like a huge weight in your backpack. No one cares. For that one second, it feels as if you’re infinite. You wish to stay infinite.
It’s this feeling, this euphoria, that you feel you’ve been waiting for all your life. This moment makes it seem like life is worth living. Everything is perfect. Just for a millisecond, everything is precisely how it should be. Oh, and you love it. You love every second of it.
So re-live this moment. Re-live it over and over again. Every time you feel down, re-live it. You are the only one who can control how you feel. Slow down that happy memory, and stay inside it. Go back to that time and be that same person you were then. The same person who experienced these memories. The same person who felt that they were the luckiest being on earth.
Don’t hold on to the sad memories. Let them go. They don’t belong in your head. Only the good memories belong in your head. Let them stay there, close enough so you can call them whenever you need to re-live them. Hold your head high. Who cares about the mess your life is in right now when you can go back and just stay in that one, single, solitary happy memory? Build a cocoon in these happy memories, and come out as a beautiful butterfly in the end.